Express yourself

madonna, express yourself

No, seriously, express yourself! Madonna couldn’t have said it better.

This week, along with every time I am single, I have been pondering on a few questions. Why am I single? Why didn’t that work out? Am I too independent? You get the idea.

It all started for me when I came across a tinder profile that has a tangling of “dating in a world where girls are guys and guys are girls”. I swiped right for this dude clearly as it sounds like he is onto something here.

I have many conversations with my single ladies as to why we have not found Mr. Right yet. We of course pull the normal girly questions- am I not pretty enough? Am I not skinny enough? Am I too outspoken? Do I express myself too much?

I still do not know the answer to any of these questions, but I feel like I have an idea as to why I am not in a relationship. I want a confident man, someone who I feel can take charge and lead, and if you are acting like the woman in the relationship I’m going to assume you aren’t any of those.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying women should not be confident or take the lead. I am confident, I take charge and I like to take lead. So my question is, does this mean I am acting like the man and the guys I am meeting are also saying I don’t want to date a girl who acts like a guy. Did my upbringing and personality just essentially fuck me over?

But because guys are acting more like women, I feel like I being set up for a lose lose situation. For example, I am talking to a guy and he asks when we are going to hang out- he can pick the day but he won’t pick a place. Kinda throws that ball in my court. Side note, I don’t like the word hang out. If you are interested in getting to know me better, especially on a romantic level, I feel the man should ask “would you like to go to dinner?” Or “would you like to grab a drink after work?” Not “wanna hang out?” I’m not one of your bros, brah.

Of course, I am not writing him off because of this but I feel like this is a big indicator that he is acting how a woman would. But on the flip side, have we damaged men as most women, preach about having an independent, confident, I’m a leader not a follower attitude.

So dudes, let me clear this up for you- I can take out the garbage, I can pump my own gas, I can open my open car door, but that doesn’t mean I also don’t want to be treated like a princess or be spoiled or be impressed. I can help with date ideas, it’s not above me, but be a man, impress me and ask me out on a real date. Come on and express yourself.  If you do not know the lyrics, I suggest looking them up.


New Year is starting off right!

December was a crazy month for me! Hell, even November was, but that was because I took a 10 day staycation to Indianapolis. Super Fun! But then I was unexpectedly home for 2 weeks in Indiana with family.

Since this took a toll on my social life, I feel like I have lost time to make up for. Good thing I have 3 dates scheduled this week! Can’t wait to blog about them later this week!

In the meantime I am semi-stressing about what to wear as the weather we are having in Chicago is crazy! Normally, I would be in skinny jeans and a cute top, but with all the snow all I can think about wearing is sweatpants and Uggs. Along with no judgement from my date.

This made me think I am sure others in such wintery areas have the same dilemma. I always feel my cutest in some high heels, but that will not be happening this week. Listed below are a few outfits I would totally wear for a first date.

dressy casual 2 I love grey! I love that this olive top is a bit flirty yet the sweater brings it in the make it more cozy. Not a huge fan of the style of boot it is, but pairing it with a similar grey boot or even black I think would totally work. Of course completing the outfit with a cute scarf and earrings would be my choice.

dressy casual 4 Love the loafers! I also just love the simplicity of this outfit. Cute jeans, cute sweater- done and done.

dressy casual 3Love the red! I am a true believer that red is a power color. I think it just makes you feel more confident and after all we all probably need that on a first date! I am digging the cardigan as well, but I must warn you, be careful of flowy open cardigans. They can make you look frumpy if they are just too open. I normally by mine a size smaller to get the appropriate effect.

dressy casualThis is totally my winter style. I love a good simple tank or tee-shirt to go under a cardigan or sweater. I think a great bold necklace always make any outfit look dressier than what it is. Loving these tall boots, but they could still be a challenge to walk in when it is icy and snowy.

blazer Lastly, I feel like  you can never go wrong with a blazer. I am also a HUGE fan of color blocking, when it done correctly. The only changes I would make for this outfit would be to wear a more neutral shoe (black or nude) and bring a neutral handbag. Too much color blocking can make you, in my opinion, look like you are either 12 or a drag queen. Neither are flattering when  you are trying to make a decent impression on a first date.

Enjoy my style, and if you have any suggestion on what you would wear on a first date, I would love to hear them!

Date with the Pyschic

Happy New Year Readers!

As you can imagine the holidays and a family emergency has set me back a little bit with blogging and dating. So I thought this would be a perfect time to share with you about the date I had with a psychic!


Psychics- god, I love them. I would not call myself a religious person by any means but I am definitely spiritual.

Last year, my good friend came to visit me for a girls weekend and we decided to do something really dumb and random- get our palms read.

We went to this psychic that was right around the corner from my apartment. The psychics name was Janet. She was amazing. Janet, if you are reading this, please send me a message!

She touched on things that really only my close friends and family would know. Now, just so you all know, I was skeptical about what she had to say. She did start off by telling me about my personality, which she nailed, but come on-she is probably just reading my body language.

But then she got to the real stuff. She hit it on the head about my ex and how I was still suffering from the break up. True. She told me that I don’t trust easily. True. She also touched on facts about my childhood- all which were true as well. There were a few things that didn’t make sense, like telling me that I have a little girl spirit with me. Not sure I will ever know the truth about that one.

One interesting this she did tell me was that I would meet my soul mate within a year and half. The one year mark hit in October 2013. Not sure if I will really meet my soul mate within this time frame as I am not dating anyone seriously. But I still have faith, as when she told me I would me getting a new type of job and then moving all within 5.5 months, that did happen.

Looking back I guess I should partially thank Janet for a wonderful reading because it made me want to better myself. Break down the trust wall that I have put up and really try to find my soul mate. I started this blog to help me branch outside of my comfort zone and just go for it! After all they do say that you need to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.never give up

Have you missed me? It’s been a while…

So it has been a little over a month since my last blog post. One, the dating life has been semi slow, but my life has been crazy!

In November, I planned a staycation with my besties down in Indianapolis. I was there for 10 days drinking, laughing, shoving my face with all sorts of fast food and of course causing havoc on the town.

In my attempts to keep my Tindering skills strong, I went ahead and came up with a very creative tag line- “In Indy for 10 days. Who’s down to clown?” MAN! you wouldn’t believe the amount of messages I got for one night stands. Talk about an ego boost! For the record, I did not have a one night stand or meet up with any of these dudes, but it sure was nice playing with their heads. So of you might be asking why didn’t I meet up with any of these dudes, but this was a girls trip. And I am loyal to my ladies first! If I was some place warm we would only be flirting as well.

After my 10 day drinking binge, I then had to prep myself for Thanksgiving with my family. Which means I knew for 3 days I would be asked the same question in 20 different ways as if they thought I wouldn’t catch the similarity…”So are you dating anyone?” Ugh. Kill me.

Don’t you think if I was dating someone SERIOUSLY, I would be acting like this:OMG Elf

Instead, this is my reaction. As you can see the reactions are almost identical so it is very clear as you why my family is confused as to if I am dating someone.


Yes, I am dating. And not just someone but multiple people. But, I can’t say that because if I am honest, I now look like a slut to my family. Family never seems to understand that dating doesn’t mean I am sleeping around. It means I am trying to score a free dinner people!

This month has been full of year-end work parties and get togethers. I have managed to squeeze in a coffee date but I just felt so so about it. Nothing big to report as it was just a coffee date.

Umm, hello? Didn’t you just tell me you had a girlfriend?

isabelle...mixed signals

Ah, my date with The Consultant is a good one. But first, you should know the background on how we met.

I was meeting one of my girlfriends and her husband downtown for Oktoberfest. She invited me because she didn’t want to be the third wheel during “bro time”as her husband was meeting one of their guy friends. Little did either one of us know is that The Consultant and I would really hit it off!

He was attractive, confident, funny, mature- holy hell, did I just meet the total package? We shortly moved closer and closer to one another having a great conversation and exchanging numbers. Being a consultant and all, The Consultant was traveling back and forth between Chicago, San Fran, Dallas and Hawaii. Must be nice, huh?

This led us to texting most of the time, and holy hell, it SUCKED! We had the worst text chemistry ever. But every time he was in town, we seemed to be having double dates with our mutual friends and still really hitting it off. And I know it was just not in my head because even my girlfriend would comment how much he seemed to like me. We even both ended up going stag to their wedding and basically became each others date.

Over the next few months, I started picking up that he might be dating some one else- like seriously. I wasn’t hurt by this after all we were not dating but I was confused. Was he just afraid of committing because even though he was talking to someone else, he was inviting me to the cities he was visiting/working- and for free. Probably should have tried a bit harder to take him up on the Hawaii offer.

We both had a few busy months ahead of us, but after about a month or so of him traveling he was finally back in Chicago, and finally asked me out on a real date! Or so I thought he did…

We ended up meeting at Webster Wine Bar, ordered food and had great wine flights along with great conversation per usual when we were face to face. Then the awkward part came- he told me he had a girlfriend! WTF?? Now, it didn’t just end there- he went on to complain about what he didn’t like about her. Maybe he felt bad because he did like me- I don’t know, but I was stumped.

I finished my last flight as soon as I could, made the best conversation I could because after all we have mutual friends, I will see him again. And then it got more weird- he asked what I was doing for the weekend. thank god, I was heading out-of-town for a friend’s birthday, and when I told him that he told me maybe he would come down a few days later to hang out with me. Umm, hello? Didn’t you just tell me you had a girlfriend?

slut, wine and dine

Tales of Tindering

With my experiment of not putting all of my eggs into one basket and Tinder (the dude) pissing me off, I decided to give my number to a few other Tinder prospects.


Story 1:
Because he is weird, and I know I will not ever be meeting up with him, we will call him Jake- his real name. The guy doesn’t deserve a nickname, honestly. So our Tinder conversation was normal- how are you? what do you do for a living? blah blah blah. He went in for the kill right away- let’s exchange numbers and meet for drinks. Ok, sure why not, I thought.

Well once we exchanged numbers, he proceeded to text me anywhere from 4:30am to 6am- all times when he woke up. Seriously, Jake? You may work in the banking industry but pretty sure I informed you that I have the joy of actually working banker hours. I sleep in until 7:30am or 8am. Strike 1.

He then asked me how tall I was…why? I mean I understand we all have our thing, our own ideas, wants, and expectations out of the perfect mate. I like tall dudes because some nights I wear 5 inch heels- I get it, but I don’t ask the dude before we meet how tall he is. Weird. This day I also got a selfie of him in his office.

The next night he tells me he is writing a book, I ask about what but turns out it is top-secret and he can’t tell me. He then asks me for my last name. Uh, not so soon buddy. Stalk me on Facebook like a normal person, I know I am not that hard to find. Strike 2 because I am just annoyed at this point.

There is no reason to give Jake a strike 3 because I just do not like him. He starting hinting like he was going on dates- like I was going to be jealous. Yeah, no. I slowly just stopped responding to him, ok that’s a lie…I just stopped completely.

Story 2:
I started messaging this dude last week. We will call him Naughty Pic Dude. So Naughty Pic seemed very normal, as they all do, during our first few days of Tindering. He lives closer to me than the other Tinders, so score 1 for me! I am thinking we probably like/go to the same bars, like the same places to eat and it’s always a plus when I can take a train to your house than a cab.

Shortly into our normal conversation, Naughty Pic asked me for my number. Yay! Maybe he will ask me out for drinks and we will have a good time. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, at least he could be fun and I wouldn’t be putting all of my eggs in one basket.

Wrong-o, he turned into the weird guy that texted me right away and asked if I was down for a “naughty picture”. Really? I mean I get it, sexting can be fun… but we haven’t even met in person. Do you think your “naughty picture” is going to make me want to meet you more or sleep with you sooner. Confusing. He also was a selfie picture- the normal kind- taking kind of dude. I like pictures… and sending dumb ones of what I am doing, but shouldn’t we ease our way into them?

Maybe Tinder (the dude) isn’t really pissing me off too much anymore…

Date with the Virgin…sort of

virgin ecards

After going through a not so pretty break up, my friends where there to get me right back in the game of dating! Love them.

Well, one of my best friends here in the city had a friend that just moved here from the east coast. After thinking about it, I had already met him at her house-warming party about 6 months back. I most certainly thought he was very attractive but didn’t really give him much thought as after all when I did meet him, I was dating the ex.

In efforts to get us both out on a first date, my friend would have us over for dinner at their apartment leaving us to share a cab home since we both lived in Lakeview. She and her husband would get us together for drinks at the bar, and leave us there to chit-chat.

The Virgin and I always had a blast together. We got drunk together, we danced together, we shared stories, met each others friends- but never went on a real date, nor did he ever try to make out with me. This routine of our lasted for about a year. Was he a Virgin???

Of course, after a few months of this routine, I knew it was not going to be going anywhere. He confirmed this one night when we were out and he said let me buy you a beer and it was a PBR (I mean, really? You couldn’t spring for the Miller Lite?). Then he confirmed it again when he said we can’t date because we have mutual friends. Got it, moving on.

The Virgin ended up moving away and I went to his going away party, with my friends that introduced us, and in true form and maybe one last hurrah, they left to go home and I went to party with The Virgin at a 4am bar. Being late and drunk, I invited my ex to meet us out at this bar as well- I mean after all, The Virgin has made it very clear that  we are just friends, I didn’t think this was a problem. Until he told me that he would just stay at the front of the bar with his friends because he didn’t want to be around my ex. And the kicker…he then asked me what we were because he thought we came to the bar “together”.

He was moving the next day and I am pretty sure the look on my face was something like this: