New Year is starting off right!

December was a crazy month for me! Hell, even November was, but that was because I took a 10 day staycation to Indianapolis. Super Fun! But then I was unexpectedly home for 2 weeks in Indiana with family.

Since this took a toll on my social life, I feel like I have lost time to make up for. Good thing I have 3 dates scheduled this week! Can’t wait to blog about them later this week!

In the meantime I am semi-stressing about what to wear as the weather we are having in Chicago is crazy! Normally, I would be in skinny jeans and a cute top, but with all the snow all I can think about wearing is sweatpants and Uggs. Along with no judgement from my date.

This made me think I am sure others in such wintery areas have the same dilemma. I always feel my cutest in some high heels, but that will not be happening this week. Listed below are a few outfits I would totally wear for a first date.

dressy casual 2 I love grey! I love that this olive top is a bit flirty yet the sweater brings it in the make it more cozy. Not a huge fan of the style of boot it is, but pairing it with a similar grey boot or even black I think would totally work. Of course completing the outfit with a cute scarf and earrings would be my choice.

dressy casual 4 Love the loafers! I also just love the simplicity of this outfit. Cute jeans, cute sweater- done and done.

dressy casual 3Love the red! I am a true believer that red is a power color. I think it just makes you feel more confident and after all we all probably need that on a first date! I am digging the cardigan as well, but I must warn you, be careful of flowy open cardigans. They can make you look frumpy if they are just too open. I normally by mine a size smaller to get the appropriate effect.

dressy casualThis is totally my winter style. I love a good simple tank or tee-shirt to go under a cardigan or sweater. I think a great bold necklace always make any outfit look dressier than what it is. Loving these tall boots, but they could still be a challenge to walk in when it is icy and snowy.

blazer Lastly, I feel like  you can never go wrong with a blazer. I am also a HUGE fan of color blocking, when it done correctly. The only changes I would make for this outfit would be to wear a more neutral shoe (black or nude) and bring a neutral handbag. Too much color blocking can make you, in my opinion, look like you are either 12 or a drag queen. Neither are flattering when  you are trying to make a decent impression on a first date.

Enjoy my style, and if you have any suggestion on what you would wear on a first date, I would love to hear them!

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Date with the Pyschic

Happy New Year Readers!

As you can imagine the holidays and a family emergency has set me back a little bit with blogging and dating. So I thought this would be a perfect time to share with you about the date I had with a psychic!

Psychic

Psychics- god, I love them. I would not call myself a religious person by any means but I am definitely spiritual.

Last year, my good friend came to visit me for a girls weekend and we decided to do something really dumb and random- get our palms read.

We went to this psychic that was right around the corner from my apartment. The psychics name was Janet. She was amazing. Janet, if you are reading this, please send me a message!

She touched on things that really only my close friends and family would know. Now, just so you all know, I was skeptical about what she had to say. She did start off by telling me about my personality, which she nailed, but come on-she is probably just reading my body language.

But then she got to the real stuff. She hit it on the head about my ex and how I was still suffering from the break up. True. She told me that I don’t trust easily. True. She also touched on facts about my childhood- all which were true as well. There were a few things that didn’t make sense, like telling me that I have a little girl spirit with me. Not sure I will ever know the truth about that one.

One interesting this she did tell me was that I would meet my soul mate within a year and half. The one year mark hit in October 2013. Not sure if I will really meet my soul mate within this time frame as I am not dating anyone seriously. But I still have faith, as when she told me I would me getting a new type of job and then moving all within 5.5 months, that did happen.

Looking back I guess I should partially thank Janet for a wonderful reading because it made me want to better myself. Break down the trust wall that I have put up and really try to find my soul mate. I started this blog to help me branch outside of my comfort zone and just go for it! After all they do say that you need to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.never give up

Have you missed me? It’s been a while…

So it has been a little over a month since my last blog post. One, the dating life has been semi slow, but my life has been crazy!

In November, I planned a staycation with my besties down in Indianapolis. I was there for 10 days drinking, laughing, shoving my face with all sorts of fast food and of course causing havoc on the town.

In my attempts to keep my Tindering skills strong, I went ahead and came up with a very creative tag line- “In Indy for 10 days. Who’s down to clown?” MAN! you wouldn’t believe the amount of messages I got for one night stands. Talk about an ego boost! For the record, I did not have a one night stand or meet up with any of these dudes, but it sure was nice playing with their heads. So of you might be asking why didn’t I meet up with any of these dudes, but this was a girls trip. And I am loyal to my ladies first! If I was some place warm we would only be flirting as well.

After my 10 day drinking binge, I then had to prep myself for Thanksgiving with my family. Which means I knew for 3 days I would be asked the same question in 20 different ways as if they thought I wouldn’t catch the similarity…”So are you dating anyone?” Ugh. Kill me.

Don’t you think if I was dating someone SERIOUSLY, I would be acting like this:OMG Elf

Instead, this is my reaction. As you can see the reactions are almost identical so it is very clear as you why my family is confused as to if I am dating someone.

29683-Emma-Stone-no-no-no-gif-XKS5

Yes, I am dating. And not just someone but multiple people. But, I can’t say that because if I am honest, I now look like a slut to my family. Family never seems to understand that dating doesn’t mean I am sleeping around. It means I am trying to score a free dinner people!

This month has been full of year-end work parties and get togethers. I have managed to squeeze in a coffee date but I just felt so so about it. Nothing big to report as it was just a coffee date.

Tindering an open mind

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There is one word that is hard for me to be- vulnerable!

Blame it on my past relationships with men and lack of trust I have gained because of it. But in either case, I have a hard time being vulnerable. It’s also the reason why I know I have a hard time dating.

Let’s get real- I am a sassy woman who likes to prove her point. Not to many dudes can handle that and the ones who can I have found out that in the end, they are dickheads who leave me broken-hearted picking up all the pieces starting all over again. This has also created a big wall between me and the opposite sex.

So I am trying to have a more open mind and maybe it’s because I am a glutton for punishment, but I’ve recently jumped on the Tinder bandwagon. Yes, another dating app. But!! This one I really do think is brilliant! (I’ll be writing another post about my thoughts on Tinder later on)

I recently went to a seminar for work and it was about social media, customer service and being likeable. By likeable, we mean really likable, not just a nice person because we have to be. One point that hit home for me was when they started speaking about being vulnerability. The speaker said “when we are vulnerable, we get a better response.” Maybe she was onto something here. I already had a theme for the post as I was just recently speaking with my family about being vulnerable and then it popped up in this class?!?! Must be a sign!”

My discussion at home was about relationships in general and realizing being vulnerable is hard. I agreed and said “Oh! I have the worst time with it” which then turned into a conversation that I do not compromise in my relationships. I completely DISAGREE with this statement. I like things my way, but who doesn’t???? When it comes to my family, I am probably more opinionated than normal simply because I can be. If I don’t want to go home for a family event, I don’t. if I don’t agree with one of them, I am more forceful in telling them so. But when it comes to relationships, let me tell you, I am more than willing to bend over backwards for “my man” because I also get a great deal of pleasure from making others happy.

I have always viewed being vulnerable as a negative thing. Who wants to be vulnerable to anything? I have always thought, if I am vulnerable I am weak or I will be the butt of the joke. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am a very strong, independent woman. But maybe being vulnerable isn’t as bad as I make it out to be, maybe it really is a strength that we all should be embracing more.

How did I get to this point in my life?

So, here I am, almost 30 years old still looking to concur the world as if I were 18- or hell, 23 for a matter of fact! As mentioned before, my year of turning 29 has been quite a roller coaster. I’ve gotten a job promotion (one I have been working towards for 4 years), had a handful of family issues, had long term friendships fall apart, met some really amazing new friends, moved to a completely different neighborhood within the city, started working from “home” (be jealous if you want to, you will learn it is not all that great), and dined at some of the best restaurants in Chicago.

Now, let me say- my life is GREAT! Amazing, wonderful, exciting! I am truly blessed. But like any of us, I had this image of what my life would be like by the time I was in my late 20’s and DEFINITELY by the time I was going to be 30. NEWS FLASH! Life doesn’t really happen like this! Ok, maybe for some people it does, but not for me.

I thought I would be living in a big city, and hey, whadda know? This has happened! I thought I would have all of credit card debt paid off by the time I was 25. Little did I know, I would be laid off at 24. This clearly put the damper on the thought I had about owning a condo by 26 or 27. Little did I know, owning a condo entails A LOT more than what I thought it would-ever, even now. I thought I would be married by 28. Little did I know that I would only be tested with “almost the real deal” relationships.

I have never been a dater. I am the girl that just ends up meeting a guy and next thing I know we are in a serious relationship. My first serious relationship was the guy we will refer to as The Bear. We were in high school when we started dating. I was 16 and just so in love! We did everything together. However, now I see that maybe we should have spent more time doing things apart. Not because that I think that this would have kept us together forever, but maybe because it would have taught me earlier on that I didn’t need to do every little thing with my boyfriend. This is one of the reasons why I am probably so stubborn on just doing some things my way (that and I am just stubborn).funny-young-couple-hugging-boy-girl

The second serious guy that entered my life was shortly after my first year in college. We never officially were boyfriend/girlfriend, but we had a blast together. We will call him The Charmer. The Charmer was that super fun, older partier guy. A complete opposite from The Bear. This was SO refreshing- mainly because I thought he had it together, and must be pretty well off because he paid for everything. I would later learn he had a whole closet full of skeletons, but still made a pretty decent living. At 21, I could totally over look this because “Hey! Maybe I will be the one he will want to change for”! What I really thought was I could change him. Never think you can change someone. Joke will always be on you. ALWAYS.

its complicated

My last serious relationship ended 3 years ago. We will call him Tornado. Tornado really took me by surprise. He was the guy that worked in my office that I hated. Seriously, biggest dickhead I have ever met. Then one night, at the bar, we were the only 2 left out of the group and we had a whole new appreciation for each other. We were laughing and having a real meaningful conversation, or as meaningful as it could be for 2 drunk people. I remember thinking to myself “OMG, am I a grown up now? Is this how mature relationships start?” Oh, boy. Once I liked him, and I mean as a person, I felt like he was my best friend. The connection I felt we had was unlike anything else I had experienced. This was the first time I had dated someone who just let me be me. The crazy me. So this just had to be the one, right? WRONG-O.

life booty call

I can sit here and explain my opinion of why each one of these relationships didn’t make it to the place I was looking/hoping for, but I feel like that would just be setting me back. It is not about what went wrong per say, but more importantly about taking what I loved about them and finding these characteristics in my “end all, be all”.

I love that The Bear noticed things about me that no one else has ever pointed out to me. For example, the little black specks in my eyes. The Bear also still reminds me that love can be like a romantic comedy. The Charmer took me out for great nights out on the town and even though I know he was checking out every other girl in the bar, he still made me feel I was the best one in the room. The Charmer also taught me that if he is into you, he will call you (or these days text you). If someone is not calling you to make plans- move on. The Tornado paid attention to the dumb things I liked and tried to recreate them- like the Nanerpus. (Anyone else love that Denny’s commercial? Makes me LOL thinking about it!) Tornado also made me think outside of my own comfort box. I realize now that what I need is to find that person that makes me feel special, doesn’t want to change me and pushes me when I need to be pushed. What a task! Makes me stress sweat just thinking about the pressure. God, this is why I am so not a dater!

All in all, life has a funny way of handing us lemons. Here I am, 29 and still paying off credit card debt from college. I am still saving up for a condo. And I am still here trying to find “Mr. Right”. In the mean time, I am going to make myself feel special, and push myself out of my comfort zone when I need it. Bring on the dating and let’s make some lemonade!