Express yourself

madonna, express yourself

No, seriously, express yourself! Madonna couldn’t have said it better.

This week, along with every time I am single, I have been pondering on a few questions. Why am I single? Why didn’t that work out? Am I too independent? You get the idea.

It all started for me when I came across a tinder profile that has a tangling of “dating in a world where girls are guys and guys are girls”. I swiped right for this dude clearly as it sounds like he is onto something here.

I have many conversations with my single ladies as to why we have not found Mr. Right yet. We of course pull the normal girly questions- am I not pretty enough? Am I not skinny enough? Am I too outspoken? Do I express myself too much?

I still do not know the answer to any of these questions, but I feel like I have an idea as to why I am not in a relationship. I want a confident man, someone who I feel can take charge and lead, and if you are acting like the woman in the relationship I’m going to assume you aren’t any of those.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying women should not be confident or take the lead. I am confident, I take charge and I like to take lead. So my question is, does this mean I am acting like the man and the guys I am meeting are also saying I don’t want to date a girl who acts like a guy. Did my upbringing and personality just essentially fuck me over?

But because guys are acting more like women, I feel like I being set up for a lose lose situation. For example, I am talking to a guy and he asks when we are going to hang out- he can pick the day but he won’t pick a place. Kinda throws that ball in my court. Side note, I don’t like the word hang out. If you are interested in getting to know me better, especially on a romantic level, I feel the man should ask “would you like to go to dinner?” Or “would you like to grab a drink after work?” Not “wanna hang out?” I’m not one of your bros, brah.

Of course, I am not writing him off because of this but I feel like this is a big indicator that he is acting how a woman would. But on the flip side, have we damaged men as most women, preach about having an independent, confident, I’m a leader not a follower attitude.

So dudes, let me clear this up for you- I can take out the garbage, I can pump my own gas, I can open my open car door, but that doesn’t mean I also don’t want to be treated like a princess or be spoiled or be impressed. I can help with date ideas, it’s not above me, but be a man, impress me and ask me out on a real date. Come on and express yourself.  If you do not know the lyrics, I suggest looking them up.

New Year is starting off right!

December was a crazy month for me! Hell, even November was, but that was because I took a 10 day staycation to Indianapolis. Super Fun! But then I was unexpectedly home for 2 weeks in Indiana with family.

Since this took a toll on my social life, I feel like I have lost time to make up for. Good thing I have 3 dates scheduled this week! Can’t wait to blog about them later this week!

In the meantime I am semi-stressing about what to wear as the weather we are having in Chicago is crazy! Normally, I would be in skinny jeans and a cute top, but with all the snow all I can think about wearing is sweatpants and Uggs. Along with no judgement from my date.

This made me think I am sure others in such wintery areas have the same dilemma. I always feel my cutest in some high heels, but that will not be happening this week. Listed below are a few outfits I would totally wear for a first date.

dressy casual 2 I love grey! I love that this olive top is a bit flirty yet the sweater brings it in the make it more cozy. Not a huge fan of the style of boot it is, but pairing it with a similar grey boot or even black I think would totally work. Of course completing the outfit with a cute scarf and earrings would be my choice.

dressy casual 4 Love the loafers! I also just love the simplicity of this outfit. Cute jeans, cute sweater- done and done.

dressy casual 3Love the red! I am a true believer that red is a power color. I think it just makes you feel more confident and after all we all probably need that on a first date! I am digging the cardigan as well, but I must warn you, be careful of flowy open cardigans. They can make you look frumpy if they are just too open. I normally by mine a size smaller to get the appropriate effect.

dressy casualThis is totally my winter style. I love a good simple tank or tee-shirt to go under a cardigan or sweater. I think a great bold necklace always make any outfit look dressier than what it is. Loving these tall boots, but they could still be a challenge to walk in when it is icy and snowy.

blazer Lastly, I feel like  you can never go wrong with a blazer. I am also a HUGE fan of color blocking, when it done correctly. The only changes I would make for this outfit would be to wear a more neutral shoe (black or nude) and bring a neutral handbag. Too much color blocking can make you, in my opinion, look like you are either 12 or a drag queen. Neither are flattering when  you are trying to make a decent impression on a first date.

Enjoy my style, and if you have any suggestion on what you would wear on a first date, I would love to hear them!

Date with the Pyschic

Happy New Year Readers!

As you can imagine the holidays and a family emergency has set me back a little bit with blogging and dating. So I thought this would be a perfect time to share with you about the date I had with a psychic!

Psychic

Psychics- god, I love them. I would not call myself a religious person by any means but I am definitely spiritual.

Last year, my good friend came to visit me for a girls weekend and we decided to do something really dumb and random- get our palms read.

We went to this psychic that was right around the corner from my apartment. The psychics name was Janet. She was amazing. Janet, if you are reading this, please send me a message!

She touched on things that really only my close friends and family would know. Now, just so you all know, I was skeptical about what she had to say. She did start off by telling me about my personality, which she nailed, but come on-she is probably just reading my body language.

But then she got to the real stuff. She hit it on the head about my ex and how I was still suffering from the break up. True. She told me that I don’t trust easily. True. She also touched on facts about my childhood- all which were true as well. There were a few things that didn’t make sense, like telling me that I have a little girl spirit with me. Not sure I will ever know the truth about that one.

One interesting this she did tell me was that I would meet my soul mate within a year and half. The one year mark hit in October 2013. Not sure if I will really meet my soul mate within this time frame as I am not dating anyone seriously. But I still have faith, as when she told me I would me getting a new type of job and then moving all within 5.5 months, that did happen.

Looking back I guess I should partially thank Janet for a wonderful reading because it made me want to better myself. Break down the trust wall that I have put up and really try to find my soul mate. I started this blog to help me branch outside of my comfort zone and just go for it! After all they do say that you need to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.never give up