Express yourself

madonna, express yourself

No, seriously, express yourself! Madonna couldn’t have said it better.

This week, along with every time I am single, I have been pondering on a few questions. Why am I single? Why didn’t that work out? Am I too independent? You get the idea.

It all started for me when I came across a tinder profile that has a tangling of “dating in a world where girls are guys and guys are girls”. I swiped right for this dude clearly as it sounds like he is onto something here.

I have many conversations with my single ladies as to why we have not found Mr. Right yet. We of course pull the normal girly questions- am I not pretty enough? Am I not skinny enough? Am I too outspoken? Do I express myself too much?

I still do not know the answer to any of these questions, but I feel like I have an idea as to why I am not in a relationship. I want a confident man, someone who I feel can take charge and lead, and if you are acting like the woman in the relationship I’m going to assume you aren’t any of those.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying women should not be confident or take the lead. I am confident, I take charge and I like to take lead. So my question is, does this mean I am acting like the man and the guys I am meeting are also saying I don’t want to date a girl who acts like a guy. Did my upbringing and personality just essentially fuck me over?

But because guys are acting more like women, I feel like I being set up for a lose lose situation. For example, I am talking to a guy and he asks when we are going to hang out- he can pick the day but he won’t pick a place. Kinda throws that ball in my court. Side note, I don’t like the word hang out. If you are interested in getting to know me better, especially on a romantic level, I feel the man should ask “would you like to go to dinner?” Or “would you like to grab a drink after work?” Not “wanna hang out?” I’m not one of your bros, brah.

Of course, I am not writing him off because of this but I feel like this is a big indicator that he is acting how a woman would. But on the flip side, have we damaged men as most women, preach about having an independent, confident, I’m a leader not a follower attitude.

So dudes, let me clear this up for you- I can take out the garbage, I can pump my own gas, I can open my open car door, but that doesn’t mean I also don’t want to be treated like a princess or be spoiled or be impressed. I can help with date ideas, it’s not above me, but be a man, impress me and ask me out on a real date. Come on and express yourself.  If you do not know the lyrics, I suggest looking them up.

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Adventures in Tindering

tindertinder match

In my last post, I mentioned Tinder and how brilliant I think it is, and I am here to tell you why!

Ok, so all in all, Tinder is not an online dating site(in my opinion anyway)- it is Hot or Not? Anyone else remember that? (Bonus points if you do) With Tinder not being a dating site, man does this take a lot of pressure off of having to feel that I need to email all my matches, try to find new ones, get a date etc.

You swipe left or right whether your match is hot or not (like or nope in the world of Tinder), and if you have both said yes, you are able to message either other. BRILLIANT! Within a matter of one wipe I am able to make a match, say hello, and maybe get a response back. WAHOO! the best part is that I do not have to think of this email to send to something with something witty and clever in it in hopes that they are finding me oh so funny and just have to respond back. Tinder also makes it fun because you can see if you have any shared interested via Facebook along with any shared friends.

It is also a very refreshing feeling knowing I am at least talking to someone who finds me attractive (and hopefully, I am not getting Catfished!). I personally think with match.com there is always someone who is more so interested in the other, but because we are all paying to be on this site we might as well “take what we can get”. I must say, without sounding like I am bragging, I have never had some many online conversation going on. In one weekend, I have had as many as 10 conversations going with different men in the city. Not all of them have gone anywhere in terms of sealing the deal with a date, but man did this boost my confidence! Thanks Tinder!

If you have heard of Tinder, are single and curious, totally download it! Worse case scenario is you can delete it after you get a few good laughs. I definitely have more to tell about my adventures in Tindering, but more on that later…