Tales of Tindering

With my experiment of not putting all of my eggs into one basket and Tinder (the dude) pissing me off, I decided to give my number to a few other Tinder prospects.


Story 1:
Because he is weird, and I know I will not ever be meeting up with him, we will call him Jake- his real name. The guy doesn’t deserve a nickname, honestly. So our Tinder conversation was normal- how are you? what do you do for a living? blah blah blah. He went in for the kill right away- let’s exchange numbers and meet for drinks. Ok, sure why not, I thought.

Well once we exchanged numbers, he proceeded to text me anywhere from 4:30am to 6am- all times when he woke up. Seriously, Jake? You may work in the banking industry but pretty sure I informed you that I have the joy of actually working banker hours. I sleep in until 7:30am or 8am. Strike 1.

He then asked me how tall I was…why? I mean I understand we all have our thing, our own ideas, wants, and expectations out of the perfect mate. I like tall dudes because some nights I wear 5 inch heels- I get it, but I don’t ask the dude before we meet how tall he is. Weird. This day I also got a selfie of him in his office.

The next night he tells me he is writing a book, I ask about what but turns out it is top-secret and he can’t tell me. He then asks me for my last name. Uh, not so soon buddy. Stalk me on Facebook like a normal person, I know I am not that hard to find. Strike 2 because I am just annoyed at this point.

There is no reason to give Jake a strike 3 because I just do not like him. He starting hinting like he was going on dates- like I was going to be jealous. Yeah, no. I slowly just stopped responding to him, ok that’s a lie…I just stopped completely.

Story 2:
I started messaging this dude last week. We will call him Naughty Pic Dude. So Naughty Pic seemed very normal, as they all do, during our first few days of Tindering. He lives closer to me than the other Tinders, so score 1 for me! I am thinking we probably like/go to the same bars, like the same places to eat and it’s always a plus when I can take a train to your house than a cab.

Shortly into our normal conversation, Naughty Pic asked me for my number. Yay! Maybe he will ask me out for drinks and we will have a good time. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, at least he could be fun and I wouldn’t be putting all of my eggs in one basket.

Wrong-o, he turned into the weird guy that texted me right away and asked if I was down for a “naughty picture”. Really? I mean I get it, sexting can be fun… but we haven’t even met in person. Do you think your “naughty picture” is going to make me want to meet you more or sleep with you sooner. Confusing. He also was a selfie picture- the normal kind- taking kind of dude. I like pictures… and sending dumb ones of what I am doing, but shouldn’t we ease our way into them?

Maybe Tinder (the dude) isn’t really pissing me off too much anymore…


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